I never believed it would happen to me, and I am still shocked when I go to the senior citizen center with my wife. She exercises and I either write or play a little pool. Mostly write. I am stunned by all of the old people I see, never making the connection that I am nearly seventy myself.
I look in the mirror daily, and I love this mirror, because it is magic to me. I still see a younger me, while faintly recognizing some subtle changes that I am getting older. The white beard is a give away. But still I seem young to me.
However, I am aware that the first thing we lose as we get older is our rear end, because we are always having to hitch up our pants in the back lest they fall down, and I am still considering making special suspenders for underwear which I am thinking of “Rear-enders”. You know the things you might think about when you have the time to think a lot.
Did I tell you that I love my magic mirror that makes me feel young—I can’t remember but, it does make me feel young again.
Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.
I was a hands in father, and held each by hand as I walked them to school, or later drove them walked them to the gate if the school. One road my shoulders on her first day after we kicked up piles of mixed colors of leaves that had fallen from the trees seemingly overnight.
I remember catching the eye of my daughter’s teacher who looked like a little pixie to me, bare foot at the door, and her dark and very short hair. I wanted to make sure she knew I was bringing my daughter for her first day of school.
Her older brother was excited for his first day, and ran as fast as he could because he wanted to play.
My oldest daughter’s younger brother flipped up his collar and became someone I did not know because I think put up defenses because he was afraid.
My youngest years later was prepared, with her little backpack, and new clothes, because she began her education much earlier and had already been to many preschool programs, and was calling us mother and father, which made me chuckle. Later, she would call us, simply, mom and dad.
All grew up to become they are today, but like all children, which will sometimes will break your heart, when it happens, is those first steps of stepping away, and you already know they are growing up and someday go away.
Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
Although we rehearsed for many weeks, the moments before the curtains opened, and I peeked outside to the auditorium to see the people coming in and sitting down. A fear and excitement comes over you and your mind and stomach churns.
It was not my time on stage or my giving a speech, because each moment stands on its own, and even with preparation I never felt quite prepared, often fearful of forgetting everything I rehearsed for.
The first time I was only six and giving a speech on a little boys take on pilgrims around Thanksgiving time.
Apparently, even after rehearsing and reciting my talk many times to others at home, on the day I began I began firm, strong, and composed. I knew this all from my heart.
Unfortunately, somehow the pilgrims in my talk came from Japan in 1964. The audience, although many younger than me, and quite a few who were not, laughed, and laughed with delight.
Adding to the foray which added to the hilarity of the moment, was my mother sitting behind me, trying to get my attention by grabbing my pant leg to help guide me, and I was brushing her off, and thinking she was the one making them laugh about a serious matter that I had well in hand.
The second time, I was behind the curtain and ten years older. I was one of the main characters in a Christmas play, and my nerves were on the heightened side.
I was afraid, as the curtains opened, and I was blinded by lights and applause as I strained to see the crowd in front of me.
I began with my opening words, and the audience disappeared, and I became the character that I had rehearsed to become.
My co-star forgot to come out onto the stage because she was watching me, and I repeated her lines, because they needed to be said, before I moved on with more of my own, and she hurried onto stage, and whispered to me she was sorry.
The play ended, and it was a success. My sister still occasionally says, she loved the play I was in, some forty years ago.
I never acted again, but did do a couple of commercials, walked a runway, and even ran lights, sound and curtains for others.
The memories which I never forgot, including one where I acted as a presenter or host a couple of times, and told a couple of jokes and warmed up the audience for a wonderful evening.
I still feel these moments intimately, because I am an introvert, who found himself in positions beyond his comfort zone, and survived many wonderful things, when I forgot to be me.
What part of your routine do you always try to skip if you can?
My initial giggle response was, “waking up”. I really don’t like getting up sometimes, especially early.
Yet, I know this is not true because I love life, and awaken to the challenges each day, as long as I have a cup of coffee.
The second response was concerning exercise. I love when I do it, but then do admit I do need to encourage myself to let some things go for a bit, and take this time for me.
I imagine, although it was not and has not been my intention, was to skip the things that were important to me, while focusing on the needs of others.
I love baking bread, or rather I did, once upon a time, this is the story I tell.
My mother was a magnificent bread maker as well, amongst her many talents she had.
I learned from her, although she did not teach me. I watched and learned and came to it in my own way.
Warm water, yeast, salt, flour and other secret things. Letting it rise into a fluffy cloud before the real work begins and mini-muscles flex and knead it into loafs, and rolls, when placed into pans and allowed to rise again before the oven takes over its duties to fill the air with aromas that start begin to fill your mind, and glands to become anxious for the moment they are done.
Butter, one with a sharp knife, and one to spread the butter, and possibly some jam. You check the time, and tap your toes, and check on the hot pads to make sure they are ready to protect my hands the moment the alarm, and window on the oven tell you they are done.
The bread never really had time to cool, and the moment it comes out of the oven the kitchen begins to fill with those who are anxious to be the first to get some, when it is still hot.
I bake less now, not for any particular reason other than those who once consumed it faster than I could make it are in their own homes now, but occasionally they come by when I am baking bread because I think they can smell it in the air, and decided it is time to visit.
I loved my interaction with others, although I was more introverted, quiet, but present. I enjoyed many subjects and paid attention when my mind was not diverted by girls, friends, associates, things going on somewhere else, and day dreaming. I was very good at seeing the whole world around me while day dreaming.
I was already reading college level by seventh grade, and had read many of the classics by that time, although I did save War and Peace for later in my life.
Breaks in class and walking to the next were great, and I said hi to many in the corridors, and many said hi to me.
Lunches, although I did not eat were good, and after school planning was wonderful.
I survived until I didn’t because I did not care for the religious dominant leadership that manifested itself in the school, without thought for the students as long as they were in control.
I left and yet went and studied and worked at a university for thirty-eight years. I studied many things, and found good in all, but my favorites was in Fine Arts, Creative Writing and both Constitutional Law, and Criminal Law.
I want more time to go back, just a little ways, like ten or twenty years to do the things that I put off until tomorrow because I thought I would have more time. It was so easy to do so, until I learned that the future is not exactly like we imagine. We are older—I am older and things do not work the same, and there are pains ever present from working longer and harder to prepare for this apparent future I had put off things to do.
Yesterday, had I been brighter, I would have enjoyed the things that I had put off until tomorrow.
Laugh and enjoy the little things and do not put them off because today is really the only day that we really have.